


Clap, clap, clap like you don't care (I know you care)

by I_dlovetobeknowunknown



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dimension Travel, Not canon ending happy sorry, Time Travel, no bashing tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 23:38:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18456980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_dlovetobeknowunknown/pseuds/I_dlovetobeknowunknown
Summary: The last thing Boruto sees is Naruto reaching out, a desperate snarl on his face and hard, glittering blue eyes. And then he falls.





	Clap, clap, clap like you don't care (I know you care)

Boruto grows up with a shadow. The shadow stretches all the way through the five great nations. There’s no escaping it.

That’s fine though. He wants nothing more than to be like the shadow his dad casts. His dad is a hero, brave and cool and he always plays with Boruto no matter what. He’s like the sun and he’s everything Boruto wants to be and more.

But then, his dad starts sleeping at home less and less, there are less frequent visits to play ‘ninja’, and somewhere along the line, his dad becomes less of a dad and more of a stranger.

Everything changes. Boruto is hurt, angry and he does everything in his power to make his dad notice him. Naruto’s exploits are well known and he’s his dad's son - it takes practically nothing to paint the Hokage mountain. Nothing changes. There’s no scolding, no visible disappoint -nothing.

Naruto Uzumaki becomes a walking ghost.

 

* * *

 

It starts like this: after his inauguration, Naruto becomes insistent that Boruto should call him 'Lord Seventh', and not 'Dad'. It all goes downhill from there. For so long, Naruto's become increasingly distant - so consumed in his work that he stopped sleeping in his bedroom and carved out a place for himself (and only himself) in his office. Even before he became Hokage, he started pushing Hinata away, little excuses here and there eventually piled up to a huge gap they could no longer cross. But he always made time for Boruto.

Boruto snorts. Looks like he eventually got tired of Boruto too. It hurts, of course, it hurts, but Boruto's seen this coming for a long time. See, the thing is, it seems like Boruto's the one only who notices. For all intents and purposes, Naruto Uzumaki is dead. When everyone else looks at Naruto they see the hero of the Fourth Shinobi War, the Nanadaime Hokage and the shining boy from their childhood who made his dreams come true. In reality, Naruto isn't happy and he hasn't been for a long time - he's like a lifeless shell that musters up the barest of energies to do what needs to be done - he's not really living, there's nothing that gives him joy. They're all so caught in who he used to be that they're utterly blind to who he is now.

Boruto though, Boruto sees. He tries everything, from painting the Hokage mountain to doubly calling him 'Dad' whenever he can - on the rare days he sees Naruto. It doesn't work. There isn't an acknowledgement and there's no spark of life. Naruto has effectively cut them out of his life, starting by severing their bond as father and son and that, that stings. The more he tries, the more nothing changes and the more bitter he becomes.

Hinata cries. His mum is strong - she may not be a formidable shinobi but she's been a pillar of strength for as long as he can remember. Firm and unyielding, always a gentle hand of reassurance. But even the hardest of stone can be worn down with enough time and Hinata's only human, it stands to reason that even she can't weather being discarded. And despite all this - despite Hinata's tears, despite Himawari's disappointment, despite everything - Boruto still loves Naruto and he hates himself for it.

It shows in the way Boruto keeps pictures lined of him on his desk, in the way he calls him 'dad' even when he knows he'll be scolded, the way he tries, even as he hates himself for it, to earn Naruto's acknowledgement. How can he not? Naruto's still his dad, even if he no longer wants to be. Himawari may be too small to remember but there was a time when Naruto loved them, adored them - held them precious by his side. It's cruel, to have been allowed the taste of a father's love only to have it ripped away, dangled in front of him everytime he sees Naruto.

But it’s even worse not to see him at all. Boruto stares at the tattered remains of his dad’s cloak and tries to swallow the tight feeling in his throat. He leaves it, dragging himself to the Hokage's office. When that creep had been attacking his dad, Boruto hadn’t been able to do anything at all. Even worse, he could feel something - something in him recognised that creep.

He shoves the papers aside and clutches the worn and dirty jacket, tears burning at the back of his eyes. His dad is gone. Boruto slides an arm into the tattered sleeve and pulls the jacket on, stepping in front of the mirror. Everyone, everyone around him kept trying to excuse Naruto’s actions, telling him about Naruto’s rough past as though it's reason enough for him to able to treat Boruto like shit. It isn’t.

Boruto though, Boruto would let Naruto keep treating him like shit for the rest of his life if it meant Naruto would still sitting here, acting as though Boruto doesn’t matter and the village is more important - just long as Naruto is still alive.

 

* * *

 

They get to Naruto just in time.

His dad looks at him and lowers his gaze. "I'm sorry... for everything up until now. From now on -"

“It’s okay,” he says quietly, cutting him off. It’s not, it’s really not. Boruto’s been hurting a long time - there’s a mountain of hurt festering inside him. He doesn’t have to acknowledge shit. The old man’s changed nothing and there’s no reason Boruto has to accept him. But Boruto’s anger comes at the price of his mother's tears, his sister's lack of a father (no matter how hard Boruto tries to fill the shoes) and a half-empty house. So, Boruto swallows back the hurt and the anger - all the bitter things he wants to say, that he wants an answer for and shoves it deep inside. Then he smiles. Predictably his dad doesn’t notice a thing - how long has it been that he saw Boruto smile? That he can’t realise its fake?

The thing is, some part of Boruto, the child that he is, has always longed for his dad. No matter how brittle the smile, laced behind the hurt and the lies there’s a small child’s rejoicement at being seen by the one person he’s always, always chased after.

As long as you come back alive, it’ll be fine.

 

* * *

 

They come back. All happy and alive and for a couple of weeks things are good - different. Then old patterns start to show up, things start to revert and something inside Boruto shifts.

 

* * *

 

It ends like this: Naruto's made his priorities abundantly clear - he's never going to change. Boruto knows what he wants and it's not here, not within the leaf. The symbol that Sasuke's given him, unintended as it may be, is enough. He traces the line that runs through the old forehead protector, watching himself in the mirror and there's nothing. No remorse, just… nothing.

To Boruto family's everything. He's seen firsthand what happens when someone from the family breaks apart. It's like that one bracelet Hinata had - it was her favourite and his mum wore it everywhere, even though it was a tacky little thing with little beads woven in because (and Boruto has heard this story at least a thousand times) Naruto won it for her at a festival. One day though, Boruto got a little too handsy with it, stretching it to see how far it would go and accidentally, ripped one little bead off it. The entire thing collapsed, unravelling and falling to the floor, all in different directions, all by themselves.

Families, he knows, are like that. It takes one person to break off and the entire structure collapses in on itself. They'll never be whole again.

There's going to be a lot of wounds he's going cause, to Hinata, to Himawari and maybe to Naruto if, somewhere deep inside him, his dad still exists. The damage has already been done though, their little beads have already been torn apart, split in different directions when Naruto left. Maybe what Boruto's going to do might hurt them but it can't damage them more than they already are. Boruto's been shouldering his hurt and anger for so long, desperate to keep them all standing, desperate to restore Naruto, to keep Hinata's tears at bay, to help Himawari, that he's never truly considered himself.

While he's been worrying about everyone else, he's never realised that no one's ever been worrying about him. Sure, his mum loves him but for Hinata, Naruto always comes first, - no matter what - even if he leaves her, he'll come first. Boruto's tired. He's tired of trying to bring Naruto back to life, tired of trying to earn his acknowledgement, tired of having to hold back the words 'you're supposed to be strong for us' whenever he sees Hinata crying because yes, crying isn't a sign of weakness but when one parent is gone and the other collapses and the duty is left on children, on Boruto to look after Himawari, it's wrong.

He supposes his only regret will be his sister. Himawari is a good girl, she's strong and she'll make it through it. That's all he can hope for.

He takes a deep breath in and creates three kage bunshin, feeding natural energy into them so they can survive for at least three weeks while he's gone. He wasn't lying when he said his dad didn't know him - Naruto doesn't know a thing about Boruto. Boruto has been able to gather natural energy for a long, long time now. He's not exactly sure how or why he can, especially without a summoning contract, but it doesn't particularly matter.

Naruto isn't his dad anymore. He's Naruto Uzumaki, the Nanadaime Hokage and if he catches wind of what Boruto's about to do, Boruto will probably be executed indiscriminately. For Naruto, after all, the village comes first.

He ties the forehead protector on and slips out, following the traces of moonlight. He doesn't turn back.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, how fucked up is it when Naruto's own child thinks that Naruto 'won't ever stop chasing you' Uzumaki will execute him for leaving the village. Understandably, these two really don't know each other well. Also, this chapter was supposed to be way better but I got frustrated having to copy out the entire fucking movie so I just skipped to the important parts.


End file.
